Friday, April 24, 2009

HMM.

okay. i have decided. i am only going to write wen i feel like it. hehe. so its goin to be a mysterious one in which u guys cant expect a everday entry. muahahhaa. heheh.

SCHOOL HAS STARTED!!

and yay!!.. my class is A-W-E-S-O-M-E! seriously. i mean in jus one day! we all are laughin and making such a mayhem. HAHA. n by the fourth day. someone jus brought up the topic abt chalet at the end of the sem. HAHAHA. wen it hasnt even been half of it yet. HAHAHAHAHA!!

NOT BEING MYSELF.

wtf is rong with me. i duno. i miss so many things in life rite nw. n yea. its all gettin into my head. i feel i jus wana loose everybody. n be alone. like hw i was. last time. wen crisis hit me. losin family frens.. alone.. yea.. i wan my alone tym. like losin everything. i wana do tt wen i head to aussie. i seriously cant wait. okay well. i feel i need a part time job. i guess dis weekend is gona be full of applying for jobs. OMG. i wana work. get some cash. n be ready for AUSSIE AUSSIE. hehe.

AH FUCK DIS COMPLICATED LIFE. im gona decide whats it gona be like. n it says. HAPPINESS.

Posted by purloinedkiss at 11:37 PM

Friday, April 10, 2009

nt like how it used to be.

You usually feel it wen someone close to you changes..
No one or nothing needs to tell you..
You jus know it..
And it is the same here..
I noe my baby..
he is jus changin so much..
he is jus nt like hw he used to be..
hurts like hell..
i hate it all so much..
even hate the love he gives me at times..
cos its jus nt frm the same guy i fell in love with..
i hate so much of things nw.. and i cant express it out to anyone..
i cant make a rong move.. im gona lose more things in life den i ever did..
its the fear..
i have already lost my oni good childhood fren..
i n him?
we are like strangers already..
and all cos?
dis relationship has to work..
and i dun wana lose him no matter what..
im fightin.. and i will.. all the way..
i love him.. and have learnt to love him with all i hv..
i jus cannot let it all go to waste nw..

Posted by purloinedkiss at 12:47 AM

Thursday, April 9, 2009

so much of things happened..

HEY!!
omg. its like so long since i updated sia!! HAHAHA. so freakin long! WOAH!. heehee. well i decided! i shud update! EVERYSINGLEDAY!!! :)

okay so well. been managing this hols with minimum amt of money. but enjoyin to the max. learnt how to be happy without cash with my loved ones. money is jus an additional factor to fun. its actually you deciding whether YOU wana have fun. haha. :) isnt it? i think so. i dun reali noe abt u guys.

well well. what can i say. SO MANY ups n downs in life rite nw. and im havin bad thoughts. real bad ones. about my relationship. what else. i duno how to explain dis. reali. i mean im so happy wen im with him. but its the fight and everythin that he causes and the words he just throws. i noe im sensitive. he should noe it by now. its ONE YEAR 5 MTHS MAN! but you noe. the feeling. of thinkin all kinda things wen ya without tt person. but wen ya with tt person you feel so happy. my bf. he has changed so much. reali loads. frm last time. after goin thru ns. he is a whole diff person. dere are gd things. but i just hate the bad parts in him rite nw. he gets fussy and frustrated for everything. and today surprisingly. i have been calling him..been msgin him.. WHOLE day out with frens.. i mean all the way 8 to 5 work. den? after tt eating with frens.. nvr called.. after tt all the way with bestie nvr call.. i feel so f-ed up.. seriously..

den my bestie. she loves this guy.. and so she went to meet up with him today.. (they r not together).. but jus frens.. she said she is meetin me..last min wen i called her.. she asked me to head home.. i felt so like fuck.. hurt.. like fuck.. what can i do huh? i mean.. its nt like i can say much.. she likes being with him more den she is with me.. i guess.. u nvr stand as #1 in someone's life forever. i hv to learn to take it..

realised many things nw.. many people take me for granted.. cos im soft.. and sensitive.. my bf.. my bestie.. parents.. JUS SO MANY PPL TT I CANT SAY..hurts me like fuck.. so many ppl im losing.. i cant express anythin out.. i feel like im destined to be this way..i look at sec sch kids and i wish i were dem.. with lovely frens.. with a carefree life.. and everything.. i h8 my life.. it mite be perfect to some. but its nt.. im hvin my own shit everyday ppl..

AHHH. wel wel. i dun wana be all so emo and all. urgh. jus hatin everything la. its jus nt rite. ya noe? blehx. but ah well. life as to go on. :)) haha. shall TRY being happy. now NISHA. put up tt mask and walk down the road all "happy" like u always do it.

Posted by purloinedkiss at 11:53 PM

Saturday, December 27, 2008

should i start bein cold. cos i get hurt for NTH!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

okay i noe its late to wish.but whu cares. i still wana do it=P. WELL WELL. wats up wit me ehk? LOL. i duno. im so busy nowadays. aint concentratin ON MY WORK. fuck! :P which i am suppose to be concentratin on. if not im not ever gona be able to get my pay! n cash properly. damit. :( sads. lol.SOMETIMES I FEEL I AINT BEING CONSTANT IN WHAT im doin. i shud pick up my guts to sy no to fun n start sayin yes to suffering a lil. I NOE I CAN MAKE IT THERE. but i still am so lazy. K I AlSO FEEL IM EATING LOTSA SWEETS. which is seriously not good fer me cos my grandparents(BOTH SIDES) hv diabetes. ITS BAD. VERY BAD.so yeaps. im gona stop eatin sweets. cos suddenly i feel super weak. and sick. I DO NOT FEEL HEALTHY AT ALL!!!!! sads ehk? YES YES. i shud start exercising. and eating vege. OMG. doesnt sound like me! OKAY N OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. i gotto tell u sumthing. im gettin more quiet by the day! LIKE I DUNT TOK MUCH. N ALL I DO IS CHAT N CHAT N CHAT ALOT. but tt also oni when i hv mood. me not tokin much? DOESNT IT SOUND WEIRD. lol. and yea. well seriously. i feel better keepin quiet. n stayin dis way. its nt good. but i like. cos in dis way no one noes i feel sad or happy.its always cos of the tone i tok in which ppl noe im tt or this.yeaps. okay stop the emo stuff huh. LOL. get back to the hppy stuff. IM HEADIN TO MY GF PLACE TODAY FOR???? CHRISTMAS PARTAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!.. haha!!..:P OMG im headin earlier to help her wit it.hehe.x) oh oh oh n last qn to all ya eeps readin. SHUD I START BEING COLD TO PPL SO TT I DONT GET HURT EASILY?

Posted by purloinedkiss at 12:14 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2008

ive lost u. lost u fully.

Will it ever happen. will u n me ever be the same? i duno. if u r gona say yes.jus hw? u noe u broke my heart. u said u would catch me when i fall. i fell but u didnt catch me did u? u said u would tc of me. but i cried so much.i got hurt so much. im not blaming you at all. you know why. cos i never told u i fell. i fell so hard. now im still having the difficulty to get up.to walk on in life.to be the ME. its just so hard. every song i listen to i think of you. every place i turn around i think of you. i jus dont know why. im being so hard on myself and i dont know why. do u noe this is jus hurting more den u think it is. u duno how much it is. i jus wish i could turn to him and jus tell him every single thing. argh! i jus wan to screw my life so badly. so that everyone jus walks away from me.fucked up life. and for ur info. i do understand you. i understand how you feel. cos i noe the feeling of missing out something so great in life. the regrets and EVERY SINGLE THING. so pls its not oni u thats going thru hell. its me too. haix.hope ya alright.

Posted by purloinedkiss at 3:00 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

to you

dis is fuckin hurt me as badly as its hurtin u.
u noe it.
"leave me alone" u keep sayin dis but u nvr seem to rely on me. why?
u keep sayin u do not hv anyone.n when u've got me by ur side u duno hw to rely on me?
why is tt so?
u noe hw much its hurtin me.
do u noe?
i nvr used to be dis weak.
but now i am.
cryin so much.
i nvr used to cry fer ANYONE.
nw? im like some fckin cry baby.
du u get it. i jus wan u by my side all the way.
guess u will nvr get it.
im jus missin u so badly.
I MISS U :(

Posted by purloinedkiss at 12:08 PM

and anthr entry. =)

OKAY. finally im so called getting the time to update my dumb blog. ok i wunt say its dumb but i would say its like arghh..cos everyone keep complaining its dead. n its abt update update & update. im so super duper busy nwadays..i dun get te time to even sit and watch tv for awhile. isnt that sad or what. tell me tell me tell me!okay well to all i noe im feelin this worst feeling ever. I HAVE NEVER EVER felt this way b4. and im telling you i cant hide this fuckin emotion. im having breakdowns. sleepless nites. and i cannot function. i feel useless. and most of all. im so hurt. like hurt never b4. why dis feeling? i ask myself. but im getting nowhere. i cant get anywhere can i? i dun feel like tokin to anyone n i jus wished i fuckin died. im being too hard on myself? NO.. its the fact.. arghh.. i jus hate this shit..ah!!!!! someone save me!